This has been a ridiculous experience.

There are some people who can and do pull things like this off on a regular basis. We are not those people. Not saying we’re less than them, it’s just that we don’t particularly shine super bright in this area very often.

It really wasn’t supposed to be like this.

Dave was a one off. A one time alignment of the right idea at the right time, with the right creative energy, motivation, and ability to execute.

It’s rare when this type of thing happens, but nice when it does. That’s what this all was supposed to be… until that day in June:

see event details below

“Dad, we've figured Dave out.”

“Who?”

“Dave, the Christmas Pirate? From Christmas? Stole our presents? Buried treasure maps? We had to run all over the yard and house to find where he hid our stuff? Ring a bell?”

“Oh yeah! Really? Wow you guys are clever. I am pretty proud of that. I mean, to have come up wit....”

“Yeah Dad. He kind of works WITH Santa, but not really, because he comes AFTER Santa, and when he comes back for THIS year at Christmas it's...”

“Oh Crap”

Swords For Kids:

The Deal on Dave

this list was left blank on purpose.

i’ve stopped lying to myself.

Here’s the deal:

Dave plunders. It's just what pirates do, so being a pirate, he plunders.

He never gave it any thought, until one day he ran into Santa, and found out he was not in a good situation.

He was on the naughty list.

He’d been there for years.

and now that they were talking about it, Dave had always thought it was rather odd he didn’t get any gifts from Santa.

Now he knew why.

This really bothered him.

You see, he hadn’t realized how sad his plundering made people. This did not make him feel good.

Dave was a sad pirate

So he decided to change.

He decided to be a better pirate.

Not like, better at pirating, just better overall, like as a person. A better human, who also just happens to be a pirate, but also they’re working at being better. That’s what Dave is going for here.

He notes he will still be putting effort into improving his pirating, after all, he’s got skillz and can’t just let those stagnate.

Now Dave plunders to help spread joy, fun, and excitement instead of just taking from others.

Somehow, Dave acknowledged, accepted, then grew from his faults, learning to help spread joy instead of sadness (Joy for others. Dave was always full of joy whilst plundering, it was the people he plundered that were sad. It seems like that’s where the disconnect was.).

There's nothing Dave can do to change the past, but he sure can try to make the future better.

So now what does Dave do?

Dave do what Dave does.

He tends to follow behind Santa and once gifts have been left, Dave will plunder and hide them, leaving little treasure maps with each plundered gift so a way can be found to their next treasure location.

This takes a person treasure to treasure, one side of the house to the other, out of the house, then back in, maybe back out again, who knows, maybe it gets crazy?

Anyway, after Dave worked to bring back into the world all the joy and kindness he had plundered from it over the years, Santa showed up, gave Dave a high five, gifted him with a magic jet pack, and to this day Dave follows behind Santa, plundering for his fun and your adventure on Christmas and other holidays*.

*see Dave’s side gig below: Offseason Dave, which is just Dave doing Dave things on days not related to Christmas.

  • Locked in.

  • Sure?

  • Make your own low cost, kick ass, pool noodle swords

  • Yes!

  • OK, but he really isn’t going to stand out from the crowd very well…

  • Maybe. Be careful the kids don’t think he’s coming to take away their birthday though.

  • totally not dave.

  • Not even close to Christmas?

    That’s fine.

This isn’t a thing, but really, there’s no reason it can’t be.

Just follow the plan but cut out the Christmas theme bits and insert (in robot voice: “*REASON FOR OCCASION”) themed things in their place.

*(dave’s swords for kids made with pool noodles, 93.7% chance they’re totally safe**)

**(safety margin completely made up, but for real, these are pretty much pool noodles on a stick and not likely to cause much serious harm, but again, this is unproven, it just makes sense they won’t. You know what else is unproven? It’s unproven dinosaurs didn’t shoot lasers from their eyes. Again, it just makes sense they probably didn’t, but I guess we’ll just never know.)